i'm the strongest girl in the world!!!

today i felt damn moody and sad... dunno why... maybe dcoz of alcohol...
made me feel tipsy and wanna vent my feelings out... hmmm...
i just told someone... my best friend... zeeee~
he's the one who i trusted always and believed... he's my brother~
so i told him my everythings...
wad i happened this few years and my life...
after told him how was my feeling, i felt even more better than i kept inside my heart forever...
nw i'm doing some ellegal thing..
and it's going to morning now... hmmm... 5.41am...
i'm still blogging.. haha... hmm..

seriously... very enjoy my life now...
freedom... educate... family... frenz...
evrything i get... feel happy and proud...
coz i don't need him to balance my life or whole thing...
i can live without him too... i can do it!!! =)
i knw i can~ gambateh!!

i always strong~ always did everything myself~~ always stand up myself~~
sometimes i really feel proud of myself~ coz i don't need anyone help me to stand up~
haha... hmmm.. maybe i'm the one of girl which really strong... and can held any problem myself~
=) hmmm... i knw i can do it!! charlie tan!! i knw i can~!!!

sad~

baby u knw... sometimes i really blessed that u're by my side... coz u're always by my side and will give me some good advice.. and maybe i really like you... although i like you not more than my bf but i will try my best to love you more and give u my best.. i dunno why.. but.. now i just wanna tell u wad my feeling only.. im pretty down today... dunno why... maybe coz of him??

Sometimes i Thinked my passed.. maybe i was really stupid or noob... u knw... my passed it just like a shit.. parents don like n go his house hit me, he bought me a dog=shitzu then take back,he called the girl that she already love 6 years when sleeping my side..told her he miss her when he sleeping by my side.. he hit me... i did child abortion.. my dad and brother gonna fight with him

when chinese new year my dad don forgive me and i din passed my new year whole week just stay at his house and din't come down, just go out and eat awhile..can't go back home scaRe my dad hit me and scaRe my dad killed him coz my dad is got some mentol problem.. scaRe my dad and mom called police.. or my dad called somebody whack him..
u knw all these kind of things let me to not confident in love.. i afraid... afraid of many things..

already gone~

19 december... everythings change... till now.. 5 january~
i can't even forget his face, all of our memories, our passed...
seriously i miss him... but i knw i can't...
i can't find him.. coz i have to put down this relationship..
he's not the one of me..
i love him... but i can't really feel his respect, love and care..wad i wan??
simply and easy.. i wan you love me.. with ur true love.. within ur heart.. to treat me as a girlfriend..
it was not hard.. it just simply.. coz... but why???
i can accept everything u are.. but...
i really cant lying myself...
i have no feeling since u hit me...u knw...
hw much i love you... but!!!!!!!! u knw????
since i heard u and her's conversation hw hurt am i???? u knw tat kind of hurt???
u knw since i did _____ u knw how hurt am i?????? u knw????
u knw since when u hit me!!!!!! that kind of hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
everything u did i can't even forget easily... coz u're used to be
i can't forget!!! really...
seriously i love you very much........... but i treat it in another way...
if you're mine u will be back to me... if not then not lar...
enjoy ur life and i will appreciate my life now...
i very enjoy my life and i love it...

act i have nth to say.. just... im pretty down...
dunno why... maybe listening to our song... if you're not the one... hmmm...
miss u.. really... but... i knw maybe u're hating me...
watever =)

i enjoy to be my OWN self nw... coz im freedom now..
i can do wad i like.. i can go where i wan... i can be fren with anyone.. great right?
hmmm i knw... times will made my feels fade away..
i trust it will... (times)...

but really sry... coz leaving u... sry....... sry......